Posted by amy on February 15th, 2009 — Posted in The Kitchen
These are the baked beans I made for Patrick Neagle’s recent bon voyage party.
BONUS: These are even better if you can make them in advance and let the flavor draw in overnight. Just refrigerate and reheat once you’re ready to serve.
- 1 can pork and beans, undrained
- 2 cans kidney beans, undrained
- 1 can Great Northern beans, undrained
- 1/4 C. brown sugar
- 1/4 C. ketchup
- 1/3 C. BBQ sauce
- 1 T. mustard
- 1 T. minced, dried onions
- 1/2 t. pepper
- 1/2 t. chili powder
- 1 t. garlic powder
Combine all ingredients in a casserole dish, mix well. Bake uncovered at 350 degrees for about one hour.
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Posted by amy on February 1st, 2009 — Posted in Mayor's Decree
According to the White House blog and several news agencies President Barack Obama has declared an emergency exists in the state of Arkansas. Rightfully so, but let me clarify that this declaration should have nothing to do with the recent weather. Ice and cold temps aside, there are some concerning things going on down here:
- I was in a meeting to learn more about company benefits when the presenter used the words “….so if you don’t got no diabetes then you won’t need to worry.”
- The local gas company wants to charge me an additional $3.95 to pay my bill online. Yes, they want me to pay an additional $3.95 so they have less paperwork and administrative duties.
- I ordered a bottle of wine and the server looked at me like I was crazy. She had to get special permission to sell it in a quantity other than by the glass.
- Depending on the time of day (most times) it can take you 20+minutes to get three miles because of bumper-to-bumper traffic.
- There was a menu item a a local Chinese restaurant – mayo shrimp – which looked just like fried shrimp drizzled with mayonnaise.
- I saw a flyer at work the other day that read “FREE popcorn in the breakroom. Proceeds will benefit the local children’s fund.” What proceeds? If it is free how are you collecting any money?
- The county jail has an outdoor sign with a running counter for the current number of inmates. Today’s inmate population was 427. It never goes below 400.
- There is ALWAYS a line at the Red Box DVD machine. Are they renting porn out of those things?
- People are still running around in all areas of public in their freakin’ pajamas and house slippers, even in sub-zero temperatures.
- Two words: dry county.
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Posted by amy on January 30th, 2009 — Posted in Mayor's Decree
America is a vast wasteland melting pot where one can find a mixture of food, fun and ideas that varies greatly even by a short distance. It is often easy to take the local flavor for granted assuming something is nearly a rule rather than an exception. Such was the case this week.
My new VP is in the process of relocating to Bentonville from Newark, New Jersey (can you say culture shock?). After a brief description of the “mystery meat” she encountered in an area restaurant I realized she was talking about chicken fried steak, a delicacy or abomination(depending on your culinary stamina) she had apparently never heard of before. Our team graciously clarified that it was not, in fact, chicken but rather cheap cube steak beaten to a pulp, battered, fried (like chicken) and topped with gravy. To serve without mashed potatoes and more gravy was criminal. She assured us she had received the requisite sides.
Her next culinary encounter was the serving of biscuits where ” people poured fluffy, white sauce on top.” Yes, biscuits and gravy (i.e., B&G) – another culinary delight of the heartland although not really too healthy for the heart. The latter she questioned which we replied: “Yes it’s full of cholesterol and fat but it’s Arkansas and no one cares.”
Salute to local delights and whatever trans-fats they may carry. Here are a few of my own regional indulgences. What are yours?
Chicago Style Pizza – Gino’s East
St. Louis Style Pizza – Balducchi’s
Guacamole and Chips – Garcia’s, Matamoros, Mexico
Fried Green Tomatoes – my dad’s
KC BBQ (preferred over any other style) – Jack Stack, Overland Park, KS
Memphis BBQ – Rendezvous, downtown Memphis
Clam Chowder – the Black Pearl, Newport, Rhode Island
Italian (in general) – Zia’s or Mama Campisi’s on The Hill
Parmesan Egg Salad Sandwiches – Pret a Manger (originally in London)
Cappuccino – Cimatori Bed & Breakfast in Florence
Springfield Style Cashew Chicken – looking for my new fave place
Mexican – Mexican Villa but it’s got to be the original on National
Spaghetti Bolognese – Il Gatto e la Volpe (The Cat & the Fox), Florence
Macaroni and Cheese – my mom’s
Shrimp Scampi – Anthony’s Fish Grotto, San Diego
Conch Fritters – Topsider, Bristol,RI
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Posted by amy on January 16th, 2009 — Posted in Mayor's Decree
My team has moved to a new floor of our office building. The cubes – or “poffices” as Wal-Mart likes to call them – are so small I am probably going to have to go on a diet to ensure I can fit myself, my trash can and a coffee mug into the space all at the same time.
The situation is intensified given that there are four of us in a bull pen-type setting. I envision spending most of my waking hours feeling like veal awaiting slaughter AND being compressed up into the personal space of three other people. Not only will I have a mental tally of my own work and personal tasks but apparently I can be intimately aware of whether my co-workers have used soap, what they are eating for lunch or if they are in need of a termite inspector or an annual exam.
We moved a week ago and still have to use the printer on the floor above us. There IS a printer on our floor but for reasons unexplainable to modern man it is not working and remains backed up like a fiber eschewing tortoise. It’s not that I mind the extra walking it’s just the inconvenience and the frustration of trekking upstairs to find your documents have vanished like cheap beer at a truck and tractor pull contest.
I guess I’ll survive just so long as they don’t take my stapler.
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Posted by amy on January 6th, 2009 — Posted in Mayor's Decree
We have mail.
Actually, that’s not new. We started tracking down some of our mail a couple of weeks ago when the Bentonville post office finally decided holding our mail was within its realm of responsibilities. I guess since we filled out not one, but two Hold Mail Order forms they realized we were either expecting a shipment of high-grade heroin, wanted to be sure we didn’t all behind on our reading of The Leaven and the Allied Painters Union No. 14 newsletter, or were just serious about getting our mail.
However,like any normal Americans we wanted more. Although we could conveniently pick up our past-due utility bills and Bed Bath & Beyond coupons we really wanted these fine paper treasures delivered right to our door – hot, fresh and with less than eight steps required. So, after another friendly chat with the landlord (including a refusal to establish the required automatic bank draft arrangements) we thought we were on our way. Sure enough, a truck showed up that week and began installing mailboxes for everyone!
Well, everyone but us. No kidding, every house on the street got a mailbox but us – even the unoccupied houses.
I called to chew a** explain that this was “unacceptable” and we got a box the very next day.
Who says the meek will inherit the earth?
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Posted by amy on December 27th, 2008 — Posted in Mayor's Decree
Having minimal holiday spirit this year I went about my activities with less of a Martha Stewart approach and more of something akin to Erma Bombeck.
We didn’t put up a tree this year. Instead we chose to have a Christmas “Chair.” This was a spare seat from our dining room set where we stacked the wrapped gifts in order to keep them from getting mixed up with the other things on the living room floor we didn’t bother to pick up and put away.
It was unfortunate that my pecan pie never “gelled” up and swam around in the pie plate like decaying tadpoles all evening. Upon discovering I only had sugar free pancake syrup I decided to make due. It never really entered my mind there would be a big difference and even if it had it’s not like I was going to go to the store on Dec. 24 to buy the real thing. I don’t even like pecan pie.
By keeping a close eye on your family as they unwrap gifts you can easily pull out the invoice before they can read it. This saves you the trouble of having to open and reseal any gifts you’ve ordered! Just wrap it up straight from the mailbox.
You know, in a pinch masking tape works just as well as scotch tape for wrapping gifts. However, when forced to choose between masking and duct tape, I highly recommend the former.
If your nephews have enough gifts to keep them occupied on Christmas morning you can stand around nonchalantly and drop candy into their still-hanging stockings as they shred the wrapping paper in a crazed frenzy. They’ll never know you forgot to give their mother the candy you committed to picking up for her.
You should be able to pass off leftover Jello/Cool Whip salad from the night before as a brand new dish for a different dinner on Christmas Day if (key word here) you remind your husband not to say “Oh good, I didn’t get to eat any of that last night.”
And yes Virginia, that leftover red wine from Thanksgiving found in the back of my sister’s refrigerator was still good. It only burned my throat on the first drink but if you tip the bottle back far enough that will stop the discomfort.
Hopefully these escapades won’t get me kicked out of the elves union and I can have a clean slate for next year.
Cheers!
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Posted by amy on December 21st, 2008 — Posted in Mayor's Decree
As you finish your Christmas shopping, wrapping, baking, ….whatever it is you are still trying to accomplish I’d recommend taking a break and reading Holidays on Ice by David Sedaris. It’s a collection of six short Christmas stories with lots of humor and wit. And it also makes a nice coaster for your rum and coke.
If you can’t get around to actually reading the book you can get a sampling from NPR as Sedaris recounts his experiences as an elf at Macy’s.
David Sedaris – Crumpet the Elf
Enjoy.
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Posted by amy on December 21st, 2008 — Posted in Quotes
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven. — W.C. Fields
The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other. — Johnny Carson
Merry Christmas, movie house! Merry Christmas, Emporium! Merry Christmas, you wonderful old Building and Loan! — George Bailey, It’s a Wonderful Life
Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall. We traditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we see a shopper emerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space. — Dave Barry
There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmastime. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them. — P.J.O’Rourke
Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live. — Dennis Miller
Where do you think you’re going? Nobody’s leaving. Nobody’s walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We’re all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We’re gonna press on, and we’re gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he’s gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse. — Clark Griwsold, Christmas Vacation
It makes one’s mouth hurt to speak with such forced merriment. — David Sedaris, Santaland Diaries
At Christmas play and make good cheer, for Christmas comes but once a year. — Thomas Tusser.
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Posted by amy on December 20th, 2008 — Posted in Quotes
Nothing ever tastes bad with a little extra cheese on top, it just never hurt a thing in its life.
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Posted by amy on December 20th, 2008 — Posted in Quotes
I think no matter what the occasion may be, you can never go wrong by showing up at the dinner table with a hot plate of fried chicken.
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