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Lessons of a (semi-) fearless, thirty-something female

Posted by amy on July 26th, 2010 — Posted in Mayor's Decree

As I pass into another thirty-something year of my life, it feels like the time to share a baker’s dozen of life lessons I’ve learned so far. May they serve some of you well.

1. Never underestimate the power (or danger) of a new razor. I’ve had shaving cuts that would make Attila the Hun shudder.
2. If it doesn’t have chocolate, it’s not worth the calories.
3. White chocolate is not real chocolate. It’s not worth the calories either.
4. If you find something you like that fits, go ahead and buy one in every color.
5. No one is perfect, but if you find a mate that can get along with your family and your pets, keep them.
6. No matter how much weight I gain, I still enjoying shopping for shoes and purses. My foot stays the same size and there’s no shame in having a big purse.
7. I hate team builders at work. There’s no amount of hanging out that is going to make me start to like someone I already abhor. We’ll get along just fine so long as everyone does their job. It really is that simple.
8. The best light for plucking one’s eyebrows can inevitably found while sitting in the car at a stoplight. Coincidentally, one will often find themselves sans tweezers at this same moment.
9. Great friends are priceless.
10. A pedicure is a necessity, not an option, when wearing open toe sandals.
11. Quality liquor makes a world of difference in your mixed drinks. Don’t be afraid to reach for the top shelf.
12. Unless maybe you see the baby’s head crowning, never ask a woman if she is pregnant.
13. Always feed stray animals, especially cats. Even if you are not sure they are strays. I’ve been known to hand out a half pound of lunchmeat to a cat in a grocery store parking lot. And I once fed a cat off my back porch for two years even though it would never let me pet him. He was also the main reason I had someone housesit when we went to Italy.

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