Lessons of a (semi-) fearless, thirty-something female
As I pass into another thirty-something year of my life, it feels like the time to share a baker’s dozen of life lessons I’ve learned so far. May they serve some of you well.
- Never underestimate the power (or danger) of a new razor. I’ve had shaving cuts that would make Attila the Hun shudder.
- If it doesn’t have chocolate, it’s not worth the calories.
- White chocolate is not real chocolate. It’s not worth the calories either.
- If you find something you like that fits, go ahead and buy one in every color.
- No one is perfect, but if you find a mate that can get along with your family and your pets, keep them.
- No matter how much weight I gain, I still enjoying shopping for shoes and purses. My foot stays the same size and there’s no shame in having a big purse.
- I hate team builders at work. There’s no amount of hanging out that is going to make me start to like someone I already abhor. We’ll get along just fine so long as everyone does their job. It really is that simple.
- The best light for plucking one’s eyebrows can inevitably found while sitting in the car at a stoplight. Coincidentally, one will often find themselves sans tweezers at this same moment.
- Great friends are priceless.
- A pedicure is a necessity, not an option, when wearing open toe sandals.
- Quality liquor makes a world of difference in your mixed drinks. Don’t be afraid to reach for the top shelf.
- Unless maybe you see the baby’s head crowning, never ask a woman if she is pregnant.
- Always feed stray animals, especially cats. Even if you are not sure they are strays. I’ve been known to hand out a half pound of lunchmeat to a cat in a grocery store parking lot. And I once fed a cat off my back porch for two years even though it would never let me pet him. He was also the main reason I had someone housesit when we went to Italy.
