Burns Night Snuffed – Haggis Denied!
Word at the pub was the USDA was ready to lighten up its ban on haggis – that unique dish of boiled and minced sheep windpipe, heart, liver, lungs and fat – mixed with spices and oatmeal, then cooked in a sheep stomach.
Revolting?
Not so fast.
Several months ago I had the pleasure of hopping back across the pond with The Man and some friends. This time we ventured to Edinburgh before moving along to London. I’ll be the first to admit that, save for some decent fish and chips and chocolate, the Brits are not celebrated for their culinary delights. However, I tend to operate on a “When in Rome…” philosophy so we were game for giving the Scots their fair shake in the kitchen. Besides, what’s a little food poisoning, gag reflex, toxic permeation and gastronomical distress among four friends sharing the same small living quarters and a single bathroom for the next 10 days.
The tasting results:
· Haggis – not bad, really pretty good. Served with neeps and tatties (turnips and mashed potatoes). Goes down great with a pint.
· Bangers and mash – come on, it’s sausage and potatoes. Good, filling home cooking. Goes down great with a pint.
· Arbroath smokie (wood smoked haddock) – good, really good. Not the fishy flavor I feared. Goes down great with a pint.
Anyway, back to the haggis. You’re not getting any. Your stateside Burns Night festivities – designed to celebrate the Jan. 25 birthday of the Scottish poet, Robert Burns – will still have to be sans “great chieftain o’ the puddin’ – race.”
Not only is the savory treat-in-a-stomach variety banned in the U.S., so is the canned version. The key is that both could potentially contain mad cow disease-ridden meat but the folks over at the USDA also decided back in 1971 that any food made with lung was unfit for human consumption.
Apparently it is OK to bring in toys, baby formula and pet food with lethal doses of lead, chemicals and bacteria but NO edible lungs.
While there is supposedly a review of the ban underway, it’s still illegal to bring haggis into the country. Not to mention a $1,000 fine and the possibility of having your name flagged on a special-attention U.S. Customs list. Tell me this doesn’t bring back memories of the elementary school threat: “we have a list of names, if you turn yourself in we’ll go easy on you.”
So, if you get the chance, dry-clean your kilt and brave a taste of this carnivore porridge. Let me know if you have any exotic culinary recommendations. I understand the fried pig intestines aren’t getting rave reviews.
