To Serve and Protect, all in Due Time
Today one of my co-workers went to the Rogers, Ark. police department to pay some overdue speeding tickets. To his credit he called and was told he could simply come in, pay the fines/late fees and be done with the whole thing. No harm, no foul. Once he actually arrived at the station he was informed that, as a matter of process, an officer would first have to actually serve him with the warrant for his arrest. However, none of the on-site officers had time to do that just yet because they were in a meeting. He was asked (and I am not making this up) to come back at 2:30 to be arrested. This was at approximately 1 p.m. Apparently this is par for the course as the next direct quote from the receptionist was “You’d be surprised how many people have to come back or wait to be arrested.”
If this is standard operating procedures for local law enforcement it’s likely there is a sliding scale for wait time depending on your crime. It probably goes something like this:
- Speeding ticket – up two hours for the first ticket; add an additional 20 minutes for each additional ticket.
- Armed robbery – up to one hour; however the accused may leave and return at a designated time later that day if they are willing to show one form of ID and agree to bring back Krispy Kreme for the station.
- Petty larceny and/or vandalism of public property – up to six hours. Unless, of course, you are in your pajamas. In which case you may be expected to wait overnight.
- Disturbing the peace – all is forgiven with an on-site visit and a gift of cigarettes; gift must be delivered within four to six weeks of said disturbance. No menthols accepted.
- DWI – up four hours; if you are actually able to sober up before technically being arrested you’re home free!
Gee, I feel better knowing these are the people charged with keeping our world safe.
