amyland.org

S.O.S.

Posted by amy on February 1st, 2009 — Posted in Mayor's Decree

According to the White House blog and several news agencies President Barack Obama has declared an emergency exists in the state of Arkansas. Rightfully so, but let me clarify that this declaration should have nothing to do with the recent weather. Ice and cold temps aside, there are some concerning things going on down here:

• I was in a meeting to learn more about company benefits when the presenter used the words “….so if you don’t got no diabetes then you won’t need to worry.”
• The local gas company wants to charge me an additional $3.95 to pay my bill online. Yes, they want me to pay an additional $3.95 so they have less paperwork and administrative duties.
• I ordered a bottle of wine and the server looked at me like I was crazy. She had to get special permission to sell it in a quantity other than by the glass.
• Depending on the time of day (most times) it can take you 20+minutes to get three miles because of bumper-to-bumper traffic.
• There was a menu item a a local Chinese restaurant – mayo shrimp – which looked just like fried shrimp drizzled with mayonnaise.
• I saw a flyer at work the other day that read “FREE popcorn in the breakroom. Proceeds will benefit the local children’s fund.” What proceeds? If it is free how are you collecting any money?
• The county jail has an outdoor sign with a running counter for the current number of inmates. Today’s inmate population was 427. It never goes below 400.
• There is ALWAYS a line at the Red Box DVD machine. Are they renting porn out of those things?
• People are still running around in all areas of public in their freakin’ pajamas and house slippers, even in sub-zero temperatures.
• Two words: dry county.

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