I’m sitting here munching on a fun size Snickers bar pondering over last night’s activities. Last night, by the way, was Halloween. And yes, I’m having candy for breakfast. Don’t judge.
Trick-or-treating is not that hard. Although I am not a parent, I was once a kid and did a lot of trick-or-treating. It seems like it came natural. Not like a real skill such as knitting, plumbing or being able to assemble a particle board bookshelves made in China. Apparently some kids need training.
Here’s how it works:
See, it’s not so hard. Let’s do better next year.
I am taking the Hogan Personality Inventory at my job. Like several other personality tests our team has already taken, I guess this one is supposed to help us understand one another and how to work together not bash one another in the head with keyboards, whiteboards, coffee mugs, etc.
I feel the forced black-and-white/yes-or-no answers are a forceful technique to put people into categories that can later be used against them in a court of law. Or a politically-motivated corporate America circumstance.
Here are a sampling of what I’ve been asked and how I SHOULD be able to answer:
Q: I am easy to get along with.
A: Yes, as long as you are not stupid and do your job. My husband says I should answer false.
Q: I sometimes complain to get my way.
A: No, I complain because I’m annoyed and feel like bitching. I don’t really expect things to change based on my whining.
Q: I like detective stories.
A: I don’t see what this has to do with anything but, if by detective stories you mean Law & Order reruns, then hell yes! I love detective stories.
Q: I get away with a lot of things.
A: Really? Do you think I’m going to tip my hand that easy?
Q: I feel guilty about some of the things I have done.
A: At work? Personally? Last week? 20+ years ago? REALLY guilty to where I can’t sleep at night or just a little sheepish? There are several ways to look at this people.
Q: I can get along with just about anyone.
A: See answer #1.
Q: Sometimes yelling is the only way to get a point across.
A: Well, I have found it to be effective at times.
Q: It upsets me to hurt people’s feelings.
A: Not if you’re an ass bag and deserve it.
Q: I like to try new, exotic foods.
A: I’ve eaten haggis and jelly fish. Top that.
Q: I am often the last to leave at parties
A: What kind of party? Who is there? How much have I had to drink? What do I have to the next day?
Q: I have used displays of emotion to get what I want.
A: False. Unlike some people (names withheld to protect the guilty and myself from payback for pointing out the obvious – that’s right, you’re not fooling anyone) I do not stage a cry-fest to get a raise, a promotion or more resources. Aside from the intense self-loathing that I’m sure would follow, I don’t think I could get through the charade without laughing.
Q: I generally get along with most people.
A: Haven’t we covered this already? See #7 and #1.
Q: People who are always cheerful are probably faking.
A: False. They are probably just not smart enough to know what is really going on around them.
Q: I think I would enjoy having authority over people.
A: I think I would enjoy having people do the job they are getting paid to do.
With a dedication nearing stalking, I’ve kept tabs on u-pick peach season updates and scored some jewels from Gieringer’s Orchard. I showed some restraint among the trees (compared to my strawberry picking frenzy) but the madness set in when I got home.
Armed with copies of some of my favorite recipes, including those from my favorite Food in Jars I gathered up jars, lids, rims, a giant stock pot and various odds and ends. Peeling, cutting, dicing, mashing, chopping, boiling…….I became the Bubba Blue of peaches.
I can only hope the results are James Fisher-worthy.
The deadline approaches. Don’t forget!