2012
Feline Friday
Cheerio 2011.
It’s been a long year. Glad to see it’s the final Friday for all of us. However, there is unfinished business. Here are some remaining mysteries of 2011 to ponder:
- What kind of animal is Gonzo supposed to be – or Goofy for that matter?
- Who are all these strangers requesting to friend me, follow me or get connected? Maybe I’m paranoid, but I’m beginning to think this is a hacker scheme.
- After a certain age does bread turn to dust or liquid? – ok, some of us already know this thanks to the boys at 701 Lois.
- What is it about a keyboard and monitor that attracts a cat so strongly it cannot be ignored?
- Where is Lou Ferrigno?
- When uploading documents via SharePoint why does it always ask if I want to continue? I’ve gone this far, why wouldn’t I go through with it?
- When Romans are not in Rome, do they still do as they always do?
- If you were to Wang Chung, what exactly would you be doing?
What else has left YOU puzzled this year?
Builder’s Square
Among the many things I’ve learned in life, one of them is that I hate team builders. Besides being somewhat paternalistic whatever time is used to build ”cohesiveness” is typically offset by finishing work at night or on weekends – time I consider belongs to me.
Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against going out and having a few drinks with co-workers and catching up on water cooler gossip – albeit around a much tastier water cooler. But the idea that I will build a Lego house with someone who is a constant thorn in my corporate side and suddenly gain a new, loving apprecation for them is highly unlikey. Not going to happen. Forget about it.
In general, there is no amount of hanging out that is going to make me start to like someone I already abhor. We’ll get along just fine so long as everyone does their job. It really is that simple.
My general disdain hatred for such activities makes it all the more amusing/confusing/ridiculous that I have been volun-told to be part of the office team building committee for my department.
These are desperate times. We are all doing more with less and, in some cases, we are doing more with a ridiculous approach.
We have our first planning meeting tomorrow. Here are my initial suggestions:
- No bowling – unless we can drink. Then, yes, by all means let’s go bowling.
- Try to stay away from sack races, kickball or other physical activity that has some/most of us in a continued state of ridicule. I work out but that doesn’t mean I want to do it in front of my co-workers.
- Let’s skip activities (mental or physical) that “make a point.” Yes, we all get that if we work together to build the Lego castle that it demonstrates what a wonderful (virtual) house we can all build if we work together. Get it. Got it 20 years ago, so let’s move on and have a little basic, ordinary fun.
- This would be a lot cooler if it did not bleed out into an evening or a weekend. Obviously, some of us may opt to slake our thirst following the structured activities but that’s different than being forced to sacrifice what I consider to be my own time.
- Let’s be mindful of cost, especially if the company isn’t picking up the tab. Except for wine. I’m happy to buy and bring along my own wine. I’ll even bring nice glasses and funny napkins.
- We’re a big team – have we given any thought to breaking this down into a couple of different activities? I know that kind of defeats the purpose of “team building” but am I really going to interact with every person on the team during this one event? No. I will naturally gravitate to those I like. Those that do not annoy me, who do their jobs and do not cause me any unnecessary angst, pain and irritation. Plus, I might be a little more congenial to this kind of thing if we were cooking or doing a wine tasting versus sober bowling. Although I assure you there will be several people on the team uninterested in cooking or wine tasting.
Slow and Steady – Not a Crock
Did I mention that I cook?
Oh yes, if in the right mood, I can dance in the kitchen like I’ve had a bottle of red wine AND no one is watching.
Admittedly, I’m not much on a lot of gadgets. You can either cook a palatable pot roast or you can’t. No carving knife that can cut through a nail, tin can, radiator hose and a tomato is going to save your bacon if you don’t have basic know-how and experience. That said, there’s certainly a time and place for certain culinary gear.
For me, one of those things is a slow cooker – known in wider circles, thanks to Rival, as the Crock Pot.
A common misconception (usually among those that don’t venture into the kitchen) is that each day I make a full-course breakfast, pack ecpicurean brown bag lunches, sprinkle in superior snacks and then wrap up they day with a gourmet, four-course meal.
Sure.
The reality is I need sleep, have a full-time job (Food TV Network hasn’t called yet!), a slugglish metabolism requiring me to sweat it out at the gym on a regular basis, like to have fun at my own parties, am commonly sometimes occasionally hung over, sometimes just want a real meal without the hassle or have otherwise, engaging (or non-so-engaging) commitments. A crock pot allows me to combine a mishmash of ingredients into a pot, play it loosey-goosey with the temperature and time and still turn out a delectable main course or one pot meal. It also accomodates my frequent ADHD behavior that inspires me to maximize productivity and multitask to the nth degree.
Imagine. Laundry is churning in both the washer and dryer. The dishwasher is swishing. You’re burning DVDs while answering e-mail, paying bills online, petting the cat and making a pot of coffee – and something is brewing in the crock pot. That’s EIGHT things at once! Or maybe nine if you count the washer and dryer thing separately. Seems fair, reasonable. I guess only seven if you lump e-mails and bill paying together…but that doesn’t seem right. I mean, it’s two separate things on my to-do list,
I digress. Back to the crock pot.
Arriving home to find the crock pot simmering away gives the impression that someone was home all day making you a great dinner that is ready and waiting. In reality, this just means – with minimal preparation – I can avoid another evening of eating a sandwich or Lean Cuisine.
Clearly, the crock pot was created in another lifetime. While looking through a cookbooks that came with one of the original avocado green or vibrant orange models (circa 1970s), here are some suggestions for how one could fill their day since the crock pot is doing the cooking:
- Turn Wednesday into “lens day” – photography? Golf? Tennis? Whatever it’s a good day for, it’s also good for a recipe in this book.
- Thursday could be a “hers” day – Maybe you’re invited to a luncheon or club meeting. For two or three cents your crock pot will fix dinner while you’re gone all afternoon.
Crock pot - cooks all day while you're away
Ha!
These days Wednesday usually is back-to-back meeting day that includes two deadlines, a much-needed review of the project that was belittled to pieces during last week’s staff meeting and (hopefully) lunch if the vending machine will accept the crumpled dollar I found in my makeup case with old tissues and melted lipstick. Thursday has me leaving the house with damp hair, minimal no makeup and half-heartedly battling more office politics combined with a (near) overdose of corporate egos.
Regardless, I may leave my crock pot on all night (the manual states that it’s perfectly safe with it’s low wattage). Some days are “friends” days and I’ll need to be pals with Stella Artois.
Feline Friday
"A cat is a lion in a jungle of small bushes." -- Indian Proverb
This I Know
With age comes wisdom – or so it would seem. Hopefully you also get a break on car insurance, the confidence to go watch a movie alone, a sense of humor that allows you to find the funny side of life and enough financial security to see the sights of the world.
As a woman passing through her thirties, this I know:
- The secret to success isn’t about following or breaking all the rules. Rather, it’s understanding which rules are not meant for you.
- My assertiveness sometimes bothers people but I’m glad I can deal with shit. Life is going to involve stress and I feel better knowing I can step up the pace rather than ending up onstage without any pants and not knowing my lines.
- I hate having to kiss someone’s ass to get them to do something that is their job in the first place.
If you are a woman who isn’t beautiful, it is a social reality that you will have to work twice as hard to hold anyone’s attention. You can either linger on the unfairness of this or you can get with the program. - Just because someone isn’t moving up the corporate ladder as quickly as you don’t assume they don’t know how to play the game. Watch carefully. They may not be playing the same game or they may be wearing a different jersey.
- I’d rather pay to check a bag than fight with someone for bin space in an airplane.
- Some people may not like my cats but chances are I don’t find their children that interesting either, so we’re even.
- I used to think I was just average. Then I got out into the workforce and I realized I was absolutely brilliant. It’s not that hard.
- I can be supportive but I need others to show some common sense worthy of support.
Singing in the rain….
This is my last week to soak up San Francisco. Ironically while I am in a state known for natural disasters such as earthquakes, mudslides, wildfires and tsunamis the world seems to be faring much worse in NW Arkansas.
A torrent of rain and thunderstorms has hovered over the area causing floods, chaos and mild anarchy – not necessarily in that order. Here’s a rundown of what’s happened over the last 24 hours:
- The entrance to Northwest Arkansas Regional Airport is closed. I guess you can leave but you can’t come inside. Sort of like the Hotel California in reverse.
- The University of Arkansas cancelled afternoon classes and activities at 3 p.m. due to flooding around campus. Does anyone really go to class after 3 p.m. anyway? Take it from someone who knows. You will never, ever have as much free time to waste as you do as an undergraduate. Drink up, buttercup.
- Township is one of several streets closed in Fayetteville. As residents of this street it also means we have standing water on our patio that is coming in through the back door. Fortunately, the cats are dry and the man made it back home. I’m certain he will get acquainted with the shop-vac and carpet shampooer before I even leave the West Coast.
- Bella Vista is really worried about the damage to its golf courses. Priorities, people. Got to have priorities.
- A county judge declared Benton County a disaster area. Personally, I think this is completely unrelated to the flooding.
- Shelters are opening in the area for those whose homes have been flooded. Anyone willing to shampoo carpets can stay at my place.
- War Eagle Mill is flooded and its phone line has washed out. Galoshes are predicted to be the hottest selling item at next week’s craft fair.
If I were home, I would follow the official advisory and stay home – in my NASCAR pajamas.
Act II….locusts.
Biking the Bridge
Sir Edmund Hillary was the first person to ascend Mount Everest. Columbus discovered America (so we say). And Cadbury gave us the wonderful gift of British chocolate.
In the theme of great accomplishments, I’ve been tackling a few feats myself:
- Driving throughout San Francisco. With my Garmin, it’s really not that hard and it’s kind of fun going over hills that make me feel as if I’m tipping off the end of the earth.
- Multiple – OK just three – parallel parkings in spaces that seem to be mere inches longer than my car.
- Surviving the Bay area tsunamis.
- Figuring out how to run the front loader washing machine in my apartment.
- Biking the Golden Gate Bridge over into Sausalito this weekend. All in all a 10 to 11 mile trip, great views and only moderately sore in the saddle.
The biking Lombards ready to cross the Golden Gate Bridge.
Cable Car Karma
I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about karma but I do believe that eventually what goes around comes around. I would imagine there are special karma phala (fruits of our actions) that occur specifically here in the Bay area.
Good karma would mean:
- You find a great parking spot.
- You find a great parking spot and there’s enough room to open the door and exit the car.
- When someone mentions AT&T Park they fail to notice that you don’t know if it’s a place to walk your dog, the ‘49ers have renamed its stadium or, perhaps – maybe, San Francisco has more than one major sports team.
- The person sitting next to you on the bus appears to have bathed sometime in the last week.
- You bought gas for under $4 per gallon.
- The rain that was forecasted begins at 7:45 p.m. – just as you’re heading home after a full day of sightseeing around the city,
- Ghirardelli chocolate – need I say more?
Bad karma would mean:
- You’re run over by a cable car.
- Your Dim Sum has ‘sum-ting’ nasty in it.
- You can’t find any food that doesn’t include cilantro.
- A giant redwood tree that’s been standing for more than 100 years falls on you.
- They run out of wine the day you visit Napa Valley.
- Halfway across, you twist an ankle as you walk across the Golden Gate Bridge.
- A dragon from the Chinese New Year parade pees on you.
- You crash your car trying to reenact the car-chase scene from “Bullitt.”
- A guy a Fisherman’s Wharf comes up and offers to share his crabs. And he isn’t talking about lunch.
